Almost 3x3 weeks old!

Owen and mama have been busy this week. We attended two Xmas parties - my office Xmas lunch and daddy's office for a special welcome.

Owen behaved himself at both events, no crying, no fussing, just allowing himself to be passed around to all his admirers and checking it all out silently. I think he even smiled a bit.

He continues to smile for daddy and mama. He thinks it's hilarious when mama yawns. He mimics facial expressions and is vocalizing more and more everyday, which is completely melt-your-heart-worthy. He loves his bathtime with daddy, enjoying the music daddy picks with care to accompany his spa time and the warm massage.

Owen is Six (weeks old)!

• Still waiting on his first non-gassy smile.
• He will follow daddy or I with his eyes if we leave him.
• He loves his Tigger rattle and keeps trying to grab it with his chubby little fists.

Jumping over a hurdle

I did it!

Even though we had a rough start, I was determined to get out and about relatively quickly. Because I had a caesarean, the only thing I have been allowed to lift is Owen, barring me from using the stroller. In order to leave the apartment and go for daily walks, we had been using one of three slings: a Moby-type wrap a friend made me, a fancy brocade sling, and a cozy corduroy D-ring sling. I'm almost 6-weeks post-op and decided I wanted to try taking my little man out in his stroller. I didn't have to lift anything, just tilt it.

I had been so fearful of pushing Owen in his stroller into a Starbucks. Silly, I know. I used to curse those women and their strollers, walking down the street with a coffee in their hand. Now I know why so many mums end up at the coffee shops - it's really one of the only places to go when the baby is asleep and you can finally have a hot coffee and read/do a crossword puzzle/catch up on whatever. I was worried about some dirty looks, but the place was teeming with other mothers. I even managed to open the door by myself and get the stroller in without banging into anything - a real accomplishment for a clumsy oaf like myself!

Since I was in the neighbourhood, and feeling quite proud of myself, I decided to wheel him up to VGH so he could be quickly introduced to my coworkers, who thought he was adorable. He even managed a smile while we were there.

Really?

But I wanted a girl!!! Yeeshers.

I was hoping for a girl because of matching mummy/daughter outfits, but I'm definitely not heartbroken about it or cry myself to sleep. It was a surprise to hear, "It's a boy!" Truth be told, I can't imagine myself the mother of a daughter, and it's only been 29 days!

I wouldn't be able to read this book to a girl either. (For a good laugh, read the 1-star reader comments regarding the "creepiness" of the story.)

First Family Photo

Mummy & Me

It really does get easier with time. Those quiet moments with my little Mr. Man, when he's content and silent, looking up at me with those big ol' eyes...it just about melts my heart and makes me totally forget all those times I want to pull my hair out I'm so frustrated. Yeeshers, Owen - you're quite the charmer.

Birth Story

*This isn't going to be particularly poetic or well written, just a written account of little Owen's entry into this world.

On Friday, October 16, I had really itchy skin and my feet were still extremely swollen. Mum was concerned and told me to call the midwife on-call, which I did. I explained my symptoms, and she told me to go to a lab for a blood test, which I did. I was told to expect the results the following morning. By Saturday, October 17 at noon, I still hadn't heard anything, so I called again. After phone tag, the midwife on-call told me to go to Assessment at BC Women's Hospital and pack an overnight bag "just in case" as there was protein in my urine and other abnormalities.

Adam and I, along with mum and dad, hightailed it to the hospital, where I was hooked up to fetal monitors and had more blood tests. After 4 hours, they decided that my blood pressure was high enough and my blood tests were abnormal enough that induction was a step in the right direction.

Long story short, two induction attempts with Cervadil (failed) and one induction attempt with Oxytocin (failed), horrendously painful cervical checks from which I never thought I'd recover, a doctor who thought I had had an epidural for the uterus contraction monitor, and rupture of my membranes all happened by the morning of Monday, October 19. Mum and I had been pushing for a C-section for hours, as we both felt this was where it was going.

By 11:53 a.m. on Monday, Owen was born by C-section. I was left in Recovery by myself for a few hours and then joined Adam and Owen in our private room.

24 hours later (Tuesday, October 20), I started projectile vomiting and became delirious (later found out to be the cause of dehydration). I had two IVs, blood tests taken from my still-swollen feet, I was rambling about dead men in the water (?), my kidneys weren't functioning properly, my blood pressure was high...It was scary. I don't remember much.

I had a team of doctors and nurses look after me, and by Wednesday I was on the mend. It was on this day that I was told I had had pre-eclampsia (undiagnosed by my midwives despite me telling them for weeks that I had extremely swollen feet, protein in my urine on more than one occasion, and abnormally high bp). I later found out my placenta and amniotic fluid were infected, causing Owen to be on antibiotics for the first three days of life. Thankfully, he's fine now. I also lost a litre of blood during the C-section.

Basically, I didn't trust my gut and didn't listen to Adam or my parents regarding the lack of care shown by my midwives. I suspected something was wrong for weeks, but trusted them and their repeated mantra of "It's normal, it's normal, it's normal."

This really isn't well written, but it needs to be written down, for my sake. I would not go back to a midwife if I were to become pregnant again. There's no point in should haves or would haves. I wish I had been listened to and sent for tests. I wish I would have listened to myself!

I'm not going to wallow and feel sorry for myself or brood about the fact that I am recovering from a C-section, taking care of a newborn, and being followed by Internal Medicine and prescribed Adalat, iron tablets, and antibiotics. We are so lucky to have family and friends who have been so good to us, so kind, so caring.

I haven't decided if I will contact SCBP regarding what happened to me. I'm sure there's a lawsuit in there somewhere, but to be honest, I want to spend this time getting to know Owen, figuring out how to be a mum, and taking it easy. I don't want to worry myself with what happened.

Owen Douglas Simpkins

Please meet my son, Owen Douglas Simpkins, born October 19, 2009, at 11:53 a.m. via C-section, weighing in at a whopping 9 lbs 1 oz. No, I did not have gestational diabetes.

His birth story will have to wait for another day. I'm learning how to be a mum, and it's quite overwhelming. Of course I knew life would be different, but you're really not prepared for it, no matter how many times people tell you. 360 degrees in a minute.

He's quite the little man, and I'm finally enjoying the time to get to know him.

39 weeks

Hi Baby,

This is what your mummy looks like at 39 weeks and 1 day.

While waiting for your arrival, she has been admiring the changing of the leaves and wondering when you're going to make your appearance. Today she went to Cafe Medina and yummed out on the best breakfast ever - lavender latte, cassoulet, and a warm waffle with fig compote. Definitely not a baby-friendly cafe, which is why she visited sooner than later.

Daddy is busy building your swing and dreaming of napping with you. Last night we thought you were going to show up - lots of contractions - but nothing happened.

Grandma has been so busy knitting up a storm for you. Yesterday she brought over the most recent finished creation, what you'll be coming home from the hospital in.

Grandma found special vintage buttons for your sweater, and the fish are especially special - daddy loves the ocean and grandma made sure to include these fish buttons.

Huh?

Finally packed the hospital bag and just realized we will be coming home with a baby. A baby!

New Dimension

Today is my last day at work, which is bittersweet. The last few weeks have been tough because of my swollen feet and general heaviness, but I truly enjoy my job.

The same week I started this job, I found out I was pregnant. Starting a new job that I love while preparing for the biggest life change possible has been somewhat challenging and a little bit messy. I'm not sure how I'm going to like being at home for a year but am certain that it will bring many new obstacles and opportunities for growth as a wife, daughter, woman, and mum.

Sole to Soul

My feet are now so swollen that these Lady's Cosyfeet (Model "Poppy") may be the only thing I can wear over the next two weeks! Thank goodness they come in a range of colours, including fuscia!

Perfect Autumn Day

So happy the baby will be born during our favourite season.

37 weeks and crappy photos

I can't stop thinking about the fact that I am going to be somebody's MUMMY anytime now.

Silver Lining

I started today a bit of a gloomy Gus. My feet and ankles are extremely swollen, and I'm finding it difficult to accept that I physically can't do a lot of things I'm used to doing anymore. Working is becoming a bit of a challenge, but I'm counting the days (only 8 more!). Discovering that someone had drunk my Diet Coke was the last straw. Near tears, exhausted, and sore, I received an e-mail to speak to my supervisor regarding 2010 vacation time. When I left her office, I discovered that all my coworkers had gathered around a beautiful cake, flowers, balloons, and a "Baby Shower" banner. Everyone had signed a card, and I received a cuddly stuffed lamb and a $100 gift certificate for Babies R Us. It was quite the surprise and really made me feel better.

Nesting

I had my baby shower this weekend. The baby and I received so many thoughtful gifts, it was all a bit overwhelming! Yummy food and great guests made this a wonderful get-together.

Last week I received an e-mail from my care providers at the South Community Birth Program asking if I would be interested in participating in the Hands-On Maternity Night at the UBC Medical Student Building. The evening is an opportunity for Med, Nursing, and Midwifery students (most first or second year) to gain hands-on experience for caring for pregnant women. I didn't know what to expect, but seeing as how I do not want any students in L&D with me, I figured this would be a good way of volunteering my belly while helping students learn. What a great event!

Because there were only three pregnant women (there was supposed to be six), we ended up being examined by about nine groups of six students throughout the evening. Basically, I lay on the table while the care provider explained how women who participate in the SCBP are fully involved in their own charting by measuring our own weight, recording our own blood pressure, and testing our urine. She then demonstrated how to calculate fundal height, how to use the Doppler to listen for the baby's heartbeat, and how to palpate the belly (we call them "belly checks") to figure out the position of the baby.

Having almost 50 pairs of hands on my belly was not as horrible as it sounds! All the students were genuinely grateful and so polite. For many of them, it was the first time they had the opportunity to actually palpate a tiny bum in a woman's stomach or see a little foot roll across a stomach. The students had many questions, but they mostly wanted to know what it feels like to have a tiny body in one's stomach and whether it hurt when they touched me! I reassured them that I would definitely make them aware if they were hurting me.

By the end of the evening, I learned that the baby has dropped into my pelvis, has a perfect, healthy heartbeat, and is very tolerant of pokes and prods!

To top it all off, we were to be rewarded with a $100 honourarium for volunteering. However, because only three of us participated, we each received $200 with the instruction to only use the money for something for ourselves, no baby stuff!

"You're too pretty to be having a boy."

I just got a lecture from one of the cleaning staff at the hospital in the bathroom about how I'm having a girl. "You look too good. Your belly is too beautiful. It's a girl." As I left, the other women in the bathroom were debating whether it was a boy or girl.

I know some pregnant women dislike the constant discussion about what they're having, having strangers come up and touch their belly, being told they're too big/small/heavy/whatever. I don't mind it. I find that people are so much more likely to start a conversation with me, although it's always about me as a pregnant woman rather than me as me. That's okay. It's exciting for everyone! However, last week one man asked if I was having one big boy or twins. I replied politely, "We don't know, but whatever it is, it's coming soon, and we're pretty excited."

Yeeshers.

Six weeks

Give or take. My only complaint is the swelling. My left foot has no ankle, and I had to use lots of soap and dental floss to get my wedding rings off (thanks, mum!). My new sleeping partner is a collection of five pillows, and the baby is moving more than ever, especially when s/he hears Adam.

I feel like I have a million and one things to do before this new person arrives, but I'm taking it all in stride, and we're trying to enjoy the quietness of the next few weeks, looking forward to the change in weather (crisp air means sweaters and tea!!).

On Saturday, I had the opportunity for a day to myself, which I love. After a painless and quick trip to the dentist, I had a good look around the library, managed to score an excellent deal on nursing bras at 65% off, found some peppermint foot soak, bought some some organic cotton leggings for big mamas, and shopped around Sephora. Ah, the simple things!

Thankfully, Paul and I were able to meet up for lunch, where he snapped this photo:

33 Down.

Excuse the lack of photos, our camera has finally bit the dust.

Everything is going along tickity-boo, lots of movement from this baby. S/he really likes it when daddy rubs his/her little foot and responds with a healthy kick. I am still feeling great but am so anxious to meet this little person!

I am currently wrestling with the idea of leaving one week earlier than planned for my maternity leave. I am due October 22 and decided my last day would be October 16, but as the date grows nearer, I am feeling selfish and would love a week or two at home to visit the library, sleep late, do crossword puzzles, cook magnificent dinners, listen to the CBC, and generally revel in my mummyness before the littlest Simpkins appears. I may decide October 9 is my last day, and I feel so guilty! I have never used EI in my life, and this one week difference is really causing me to do some serious soul-searching. Silly, I know! Thoughts?

I'm A Baby

No Fuss

No fancy photo this week! The weekend is here and I just want to curl up with my new book.

TNT

I seem to have exploded overnight. Where did this big tummy come from in only 10 hours???

Purrfectly Bizarre

I'd like to preface this entry by stating that the above photo was not my first choice. You wouldn't believe what comes up when you do a photo search for "cat+breastfeeding."

Last night I dreamt I had the baby. It was a cat. I tried breastfeeding it, but it wouldn't take to my nipple. I also attempted to take my "baby" to work to show it off, but the cat wouldn't allow anyone to hold it, it kept squirming and yeowling.

26 weeks!

Worry Wart

I had felt a definite decrease in baby movement over the past 4 days and went to see my midwife today for confirmation that there was still a baby in there. Of course there was, and I felt silly, but I needed to be reassured. Adam even gave the baby a talking-to last night, telling him/her that s/he didn't need to be stubborn like his/her mummy (ahem).

The baby has just repositioned him/herself so that s/he has its legs towards my back rather than the front. Of course, as soon as I stopped at Solly's for some bagels and cinnamon bun, the little thing started kicking me. Figures.

The cool thing is that mum and dad got to see where I go and hear the heartbeat. Pretty neat-o!

Songs to My Babe

I've taken to singing to the babe in the shower. I think my voice is less offensive in the tiled cavern that is our bathroom.



My great-aunt used to sing this to me when I was little. She'd make all the "putt putt" noises and whistles, even imitate the sound of the little baby fishie at the end of the song.






I also need somebody groovy, and love the Mamas and the Papas. By the way, Mama Cass did not choke on a sandwich and die.






Can't go wrong with Judy!






Another Auntie Mary tune. My poor kid is going to be about 70 years behind with music...I wouldn't want it any other way!

The Fetal Position

Before I was pregnant I slept in the left-sided Fetal position, usually waking up in the Soldier position. After reading through many how-to and what-not-to-do books and message boards, the message that OMG DO NOT SLEEP ON YOUR BACK YOU WILL SUFFOCATE YOUR BABY, I have really tried not to. The mister, when waking up in the middle night, will nudge me onto my side, where I have positioned one pillow to my left and one pillow between my legs (to avoid sciatia, apparently). I have quickly discovered that this baby DOES NOT LIKE the left-sided Fetal position, for s/he will start flipflopping, "Hey, mama! The placenta is no longer my pillow but a suffocating mass of life!" For the life of me, I just cannot fall asleep in a right-sided Fetal position, so I am now relegated to sleeping in a right-sided Yearner or Log position. I am still able to sleep at night at this point, so I'm grateful for that. I suppose in a few months I will long for the times I was a Log. When s/he is finally out and about in the world, I'm eating my rare steak and falling asleep as a Freefaller. Take that kiddo!

Are We Having Fun Yet?

23w5d

Having recently found out I was the successful applicant for my temporary (now permanent) full-time position at work, I have been worry-free regarding a job to return to and topped-up maternity benefits (thank you, union!). However, it seems that other classmates in our prenatal group have already registered their unborn offspring for daycare! I'm a bit slow on the take, figuring it will all work out, as things usually do.

Nesting Syndrome

This weekend marked the first (of most likely many) crazed nesting rampages I have thus far experienced in this pregnancy. I have rearranged almost every room, moving this here and that there, scrubbed and polished, swept and dusted. It's still not perfect, but it's much better than it was.

I'm sure I'm driving the mister batty with my cries of, "Not in my clean sink!" and "Where did this fingerprint come from?!" I truly can't help it -- it's uncontrollable. Thank goodness I work full-time, otherwise I'm sure I would tear this place apart this week.

FYI

My vagina is hiccuping.

Creepy

We thought we'd use this morphing technology for a laugh to see what our kidlet would look like. Yikes!

David Weidman

I could lie and say I'm sure that the baby will love all of David Weidman's midcentury illustrations, but the truth is that I really want it for myself.

High Kick!

I felt the baby kicking today for the first time. Hopefully s/he will enjoy tap dancing with his/her mama!

Mama & Papa

Here we are at 21w3d.

What I'm Craving As Of Late

I am still feeling great with lots of energy and a positive attitude.

Things that I have been craving lately:

Cinnamon. Even the smell.

Skirts. I can't bear to wear pants in this heat.

Coffee. With cream.

Fruit. I can't get enough!

Yoga.

Citrus. Especially lemon!

But please don't think that I'm some kooky healthy nut. What I have neglected to post is the fact that I sometimes take the elevator up three floors instead of taking the stairs, eat a bag of Old Dutch Arriba chips once in a while, and probably eat way more cheese than I should.

Here s/he is!

There s/he is. Perfectly healthy!